Adolescence can be a testing time for both parents and children. Parents notice numerous changes in their children and sometimes they feel that they know nothing about their life or their friends. More than ego hurt it becomes a matter of concern for the parents as they don’t want their child to be wrongly influenced by anyone.
Adolescence phase in an individual’s life can be characterized by major shifts in her fashion sense, personal likes and dislikes, rights and wrongs. Spending endless hours on phone, hanging out with new friends, meeting new people experiencing changes in style, views and social behavior, are some of the major changes which he/she is going through. They may see little need for advice and guidance.
There is a need for both parents (more so as they have walked through the path and they understand the nitty-gritty’s well) and their children to find a way to let go of each other gradually and as gracefully as possible. The process become much smoother when parents realize that their children are just trying to establish their own adult identity. Young people consistently emphasize that their parents are the most important influence in their lives, so we should not misinterpret their newfound independent attitude as being arrogant or detachment from the family.
Another very crucial aspect a parent should consider for their adolescent children is that a child wants to be known as an independent, confident person and not as momma’s boy or girl, in his/her peers group. A child may find it necessary to go along with the crowd.
Young people are generally so engrossed in their own world that parental influence may appear to have non existent. But a lot can be done in order to help your teenager to take the right social stand.
Getting to know a child’s friend is the most crucial and important thing to gain your child’s confidence. Meeting their friends will give you an idea about their family background, their personalities. Though don’t be too quick to judge them, any snap judgment offered by you will be dismissed by your child immediately and he will think twice before introducing any other friend to you. Welcome your child’s friend in to your home, talk with them, and offer to drop them at a party or a movie.
Getting to know friend’s parents, talking to them quite often knowing their views about teen’s related issues will add to know his friends better.
Teenagers may react negatively to any direct restrictions about whom they should hang out with, but giving your own examples, talking to them as adults will help in winning their confidence , which is more than half the battle won. Encourage your child to take up some hobby of their own choice which will help him in meeting people with same likings. Keeping good company will ensure that he doesn’t deviate from righteous path.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
balanced diet
Ensuring complete nutrition for young children is primary concern for every mother. Complete nutrition for young body would mean a healthy balance of building material, repairing material, fuel for energy, and additional substances to keep it going.
Proteins - main construction material of a body is protein. It is required to increase the size of different organs and overall body, and also for repairing wear and tear. A variety of vegetables, grains, beans, and fruits servings, soy fiber mixed with chapatti flour, may be given during munching time or otherwise. Plant source of proteins also provide carbs, fiber & vitamins which animal products lack.
Carbohydrates - children’s energy requirements are met by simple and complex carbs. Vegetables, fruits, grains and pulses are complex carbohydrates which burn slowly. Sugar honey is examples of simple carbs which burn very fast and also they lack in extra nutrition.
Fat- it is hard for the body to convert fat to fuel so it is largely stored under the skin; saturated fats are mainly found in meat and dairy products. Unsaturated fats are mainly sourced from plant based foods. Fats are rich source of fuel for the body.
Mineral and Calcium- minerals are mainly required for the structuring and functioning of all body parts. All natural and unrefined foods contain variety of valuable minerals. To get them in maximum amount one should avoid refining of grains and prolonged cooking.
During infancy and preteen age ample amount of calcium is required. Green leafy vegetables, beans, milk are good source of calcium.
Iron & iodine – vegetables like broccoli and beans are a good source of iron. Iron supplements can be given to the children with a doctor’s reference.
Iodized salts can be used in areas where drinking water, fruits or vegetables lack it.
Vitamins- body requires vitamins to work right, as a little oiling helps a machine to work splendidly! All vitamins can be obtained from a well balanced diet of grains, fruits, beans nuts, seeds. Deficiency of these vitamins in children is unlikely unless the diet consists mainly of refined starches and sugar.
Fiber – it is the roughage in our food that our intestine can’t digest and absorb. Animal and dairy products don’t have fiber at all. These are important for normal bowel movement, and for checking the constipation.
Water- it is important for the basic functioning of the body. Most of the food items are largely made of water, even then mothers should take care that children are taking 5-6 glasses of water during the entire day.
It should be taken care that not all the essential nutrients are to be taken in every meal, a balance of all the nutrients should be provided within a span of 2-3 days.
Proteins - main construction material of a body is protein. It is required to increase the size of different organs and overall body, and also for repairing wear and tear. A variety of vegetables, grains, beans, and fruits servings, soy fiber mixed with chapatti flour, may be given during munching time or otherwise. Plant source of proteins also provide carbs, fiber & vitamins which animal products lack.
Carbohydrates - children’s energy requirements are met by simple and complex carbs. Vegetables, fruits, grains and pulses are complex carbohydrates which burn slowly. Sugar honey is examples of simple carbs which burn very fast and also they lack in extra nutrition.
Fat- it is hard for the body to convert fat to fuel so it is largely stored under the skin; saturated fats are mainly found in meat and dairy products. Unsaturated fats are mainly sourced from plant based foods. Fats are rich source of fuel for the body.
Mineral and Calcium- minerals are mainly required for the structuring and functioning of all body parts. All natural and unrefined foods contain variety of valuable minerals. To get them in maximum amount one should avoid refining of grains and prolonged cooking.
During infancy and preteen age ample amount of calcium is required. Green leafy vegetables, beans, milk are good source of calcium.
Iron & iodine – vegetables like broccoli and beans are a good source of iron. Iron supplements can be given to the children with a doctor’s reference.
Iodized salts can be used in areas where drinking water, fruits or vegetables lack it.
Vitamins- body requires vitamins to work right, as a little oiling helps a machine to work splendidly! All vitamins can be obtained from a well balanced diet of grains, fruits, beans nuts, seeds. Deficiency of these vitamins in children is unlikely unless the diet consists mainly of refined starches and sugar.
Fiber – it is the roughage in our food that our intestine can’t digest and absorb. Animal and dairy products don’t have fiber at all. These are important for normal bowel movement, and for checking the constipation.
Water- it is important for the basic functioning of the body. Most of the food items are largely made of water, even then mothers should take care that children are taking 5-6 glasses of water during the entire day.
It should be taken care that not all the essential nutrients are to be taken in every meal, a balance of all the nutrients should be provided within a span of 2-3 days.
Monday, September 29, 2008
books Vs.TV
Reading requires active participation; it helps in enhancing visualization, imagination and also a certain level of patience in the reader.
Me and my husband being avid readers ourselves wanted our kids also to follow the same path, but on the back of my mind I had this feeling of helplessness also; as I used to think that in this era of 24x7 hrs of TV transmission, how can I instill reading habit in my kids? Their generation is bound to be exposed to passive entertainment ; they usually are sitting either in front of TV or a computer screen, fast moving quick images just hypnotize the young ones, their group conversations revolve mostly around their favorite cartoon characters, in this scenario will my lil’ one not feel like left out, while interacting in the group? What should be parents’ strategy to teach their children what is correct? Rather than just following the herd mentality.
All these thoughts used to wander in my mind when I was expecting my first child. When I landed on the parenting path I realized that I was very much in control of the situation, it was like God had given me a completely blank CD and I could have written whatever I wanted to, on it. My kid would be exposed to the practices of his family first, so I had at least four years to mould him in my way, before he’d be exposed to the outer world. And if I gave him enough time, attention and guidance there is no reason why he should not adopt the rightful ways. With this strong positive thought, I did strategic planning for my kid as to at what age he’d be exposed to which useful practice.
I started reading to my child at the age of 4-6 months, more than reading the session used to provide a feeling of closeness to him sitting in my lap he was not interested in the book or the content at that time.
By tenth month or so he got attracted to the books himself I brought thick, plastic coated books for that age as teething had started and he was putting everything possible in his mouth, during book reading sessions my emphasis would be to let him understand that main source of all this joy is the book; It used to be more of a mimicry show kind of session; I used to read the lines from the book first and than enact them, my son used to giggle to my efforts. Bright colorful books also became an inspiration for new words
Around 1-1/2 years he started showing more interest in who, what, when, where of the content and he emphasized on keeping the book in his own hands even if that means reading a book upside down, for me the satisfaction was that he was taking interest on his own.
Reading a bedtime story, reading to him as much as possible, taking membership of a kid’s library, sending him to phonetics class and taking subscription of a kid’s magazine were some of the steps which I took when he was 4-6 yrs of age.
Now at six, he is an avid reader himself, he tries to read about a new subject as much as possible and I feel satisfied that I didn’t need to force anything on him.
This is his choice to prefer books over TV, he watches TV also but not for longer duration, he himself starts missing his books. His teachers appreciate that his vocabulary is beyond his age group and most of all he has taught his younger brother also the same good habit of making books his best friend!!
Me and my husband being avid readers ourselves wanted our kids also to follow the same path, but on the back of my mind I had this feeling of helplessness also; as I used to think that in this era of 24x7 hrs of TV transmission, how can I instill reading habit in my kids? Their generation is bound to be exposed to passive entertainment ; they usually are sitting either in front of TV or a computer screen, fast moving quick images just hypnotize the young ones, their group conversations revolve mostly around their favorite cartoon characters, in this scenario will my lil’ one not feel like left out, while interacting in the group? What should be parents’ strategy to teach their children what is correct? Rather than just following the herd mentality.
All these thoughts used to wander in my mind when I was expecting my first child. When I landed on the parenting path I realized that I was very much in control of the situation, it was like God had given me a completely blank CD and I could have written whatever I wanted to, on it. My kid would be exposed to the practices of his family first, so I had at least four years to mould him in my way, before he’d be exposed to the outer world. And if I gave him enough time, attention and guidance there is no reason why he should not adopt the rightful ways. With this strong positive thought, I did strategic planning for my kid as to at what age he’d be exposed to which useful practice.
I started reading to my child at the age of 4-6 months, more than reading the session used to provide a feeling of closeness to him sitting in my lap he was not interested in the book or the content at that time.
By tenth month or so he got attracted to the books himself I brought thick, plastic coated books for that age as teething had started and he was putting everything possible in his mouth, during book reading sessions my emphasis would be to let him understand that main source of all this joy is the book; It used to be more of a mimicry show kind of session; I used to read the lines from the book first and than enact them, my son used to giggle to my efforts. Bright colorful books also became an inspiration for new words
Around 1-1/2 years he started showing more interest in who, what, when, where of the content and he emphasized on keeping the book in his own hands even if that means reading a book upside down, for me the satisfaction was that he was taking interest on his own.
Reading a bedtime story, reading to him as much as possible, taking membership of a kid’s library, sending him to phonetics class and taking subscription of a kid’s magazine were some of the steps which I took when he was 4-6 yrs of age.
Now at six, he is an avid reader himself, he tries to read about a new subject as much as possible and I feel satisfied that I didn’t need to force anything on him.
This is his choice to prefer books over TV, he watches TV also but not for longer duration, he himself starts missing his books. His teachers appreciate that his vocabulary is beyond his age group and most of all he has taught his younger brother also the same good habit of making books his best friend!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
big boss-communication
Watching Big boss gives you a brilliant avenue to have a deep insight of different types of personalities, their communication skills & behavioral patterns.
Payal’s desperate moves to get enough footage justify her behavior as an aspiring actress. Going in to the pool wearing quite a revealing swim suit, trying to give face expressions for each and every thing, looking towards the camera more often than not all adhere to that fact only.
Ehsaanji is playing very diplomatically, or may be still not opened up to the inmates, tries to keep to him only; doesn’t want to get in to any controversies. May be he is a peace loving guy off the camera, a very fatherly figure for most of the housemates, but sometimes he appears to be hiding his own self .
Another participant of this genre is Julfi, he also fails miserably in expressing himself on or off the camera, he might be a person with great dignity, grace, boyish charm and decency but communication is the key for this kind of program you have to connect with the audience and other inmates. What are your inputs to the TRP of the program, which ultimately is the purpose of the channel?
Diana is trying her best to create a happy environment within the house, she has brought a tremendous positive energy in the house, most of the time she is shown chatting intimately with all the occupants, or playing marbles or stones with them, she works with girls in the kitchen, she condemns Raja for playing politics, she says what is right to the right person at the right time even then she is quite popular amongst the participants. She is a great communicator.
Sambhawana seth is too loud but apt for this kind of program, she has a tremendous power of creating controversies, she might be a good person at heart but she is not able to get along with many of the participants, she seeks for a comfort zone with the person she is talking to but if that is not formed ,she starts criticizing that person which helps more in creating foes than friends , she is a good example of what should not be done for an effective communication.
Raja and Rahul are the soul of this season of big boss, mischievous raja has still not come out of his leadership task mould, which is creating trouble for him only, and sometimes he appears to be over smart, which others don’t like at all. Basic courtesy and mannerisms never go out of fashion he seems to defy that.
Rahul is still wearing a mask, he seems to think that two and a half month is not a long time to spend in that manner at least that will help removing the bad name earned by him for his family, everybody else might be interested in the prize money, but rahul has the sole purpose of clearing his image in common man’s mind.
Ashutosh is a happy go lucky kind of guy ,very lazy not interested in other inmates at all , just trying to spend the time being there no contribution from his side towards the program.
spot.com
Payal’s desperate moves to get enough footage justify her behavior as an aspiring actress. Going in to the pool wearing quite a revealing swim suit, trying to give face expressions for each and every thing, looking towards the camera more often than not all adhere to that fact only.
Ehsaanji is playing very diplomatically, or may be still not opened up to the inmates, tries to keep to him only; doesn’t want to get in to any controversies. May be he is a peace loving guy off the camera, a very fatherly figure for most of the housemates, but sometimes he appears to be hiding his own self .
Another participant of this genre is Julfi, he also fails miserably in expressing himself on or off the camera, he might be a person with great dignity, grace, boyish charm and decency but communication is the key for this kind of program you have to connect with the audience and other inmates. What are your inputs to the TRP of the program, which ultimately is the purpose of the channel?
Diana is trying her best to create a happy environment within the house, she has brought a tremendous positive energy in the house, most of the time she is shown chatting intimately with all the occupants, or playing marbles or stones with them, she works with girls in the kitchen, she condemns Raja for playing politics, she says what is right to the right person at the right time even then she is quite popular amongst the participants. She is a great communicator.
Sambhawana seth is too loud but apt for this kind of program, she has a tremendous power of creating controversies, she might be a good person at heart but she is not able to get along with many of the participants, she seeks for a comfort zone with the person she is talking to but if that is not formed ,she starts criticizing that person which helps more in creating foes than friends , she is a good example of what should not be done for an effective communication.
Raja and Rahul are the soul of this season of big boss, mischievous raja has still not come out of his leadership task mould, which is creating trouble for him only, and sometimes he appears to be over smart, which others don’t like at all. Basic courtesy and mannerisms never go out of fashion he seems to defy that.
Rahul is still wearing a mask, he seems to think that two and a half month is not a long time to spend in that manner at least that will help removing the bad name earned by him for his family, everybody else might be interested in the prize money, but rahul has the sole purpose of clearing his image in common man’s mind.
Ashutosh is a happy go lucky kind of guy ,very lazy not interested in other inmates at all , just trying to spend the time being there no contribution from his side towards the program.
spot.com
Monday, September 22, 2008
My Lil' Soldier
Reading the column Soul Curry by Ms Charushilla Narula in times life (21 Sep08; a supplement of Sunday times of India) stirred lots of emotions, which I was trying to compile and compose after my conversation with my brother who right now has got a border posting. I had asked him, what is the value of him staying in such extreme living conditions, who is bothered what difficulties he is facing staying there. And his answer to my query was ,everybody whether working in a private job or in a public sector job is doing his duty assigned to him, they all are working in a team for the welfare of an organization; some are taking greater risks while others are not , but everybody is not looking for a reward all the time, I am also doing the same; I have opted for a field and all this is a part of this particular carrier, chosen fields may be different but the objective of all of us is the same. His answer gave me some comfort but I was not fully convinced, at the same time I was feeling guilt also of asking such a question which might affect his zeal, his confidence.
Maybe because the soldier in question is my own younger brother, my own sibling whom I know inside out, understand beyond words and with whom I have grown up literally.
I was trying to understand why along with a feeling of proud there was also this itch attached, “why he was there, and what was the point of it all?” I was searching answers to my inner doubts but to no avail! On the weekend It seemed as god himself was trying to answer my queries otherwise why I would’ve started reading a back-dated newspaper which I usually never do! I came through this article which was reflecting my state of mind word by word, the guilt of discussing wrong points ,the state of illusion my feelings at this stage ,every answer was there on that paper, unfolding the truth, making the things more clear.
I am just refurbishing a segment of the column, “…….I searched the TV channels for a glimpse of him or his mission, only to realize that it really doesn’t matter whether my soldier was living a life that was worse than being alive; what mattered was that kareena was getting married to Saif Ali Khan and Angelina Jolie was having twins. The complete hollowness of our urban life disturbed me. I realized that I was guilty of this too, till someone of my own was affected. But, then isn’t every soldier our very own? Have we become so self-consumed that we are immune to the sacrifice that he has made by choosing this profession so that we stay protected? no one really tries to dwell in to what makes a soldier guard that peak at Siachen or brave the enemy at LoC. Please note a soldier moves because his heart moves. However his heart beats only when he knows that his family is happy and provided for. Sadly enough the pay commission has made him a negotiator and pushed him to demand what is rightfully his.
I asked my soldier, doesn’t all this agitate you? Make you want to quit? And He replied, “If tomorrow, someone falls in front of me on a busy street, I will go and pick him up. I will not think of why others didn’t come to his rescue.” I stand corrected .he is not fighting someone else’s battle. He is acting upon things which really matter to someone somewhere! He does not care why his friend or his brother is not doing the same he has made this choice for his country, for his people, for himself. Let us respect his choice, salute it. For they make our country a better place to live in…!”
Maybe because the soldier in question is my own younger brother, my own sibling whom I know inside out, understand beyond words and with whom I have grown up literally.
I was trying to understand why along with a feeling of proud there was also this itch attached, “why he was there, and what was the point of it all?” I was searching answers to my inner doubts but to no avail! On the weekend It seemed as god himself was trying to answer my queries otherwise why I would’ve started reading a back-dated newspaper which I usually never do! I came through this article which was reflecting my state of mind word by word, the guilt of discussing wrong points ,the state of illusion my feelings at this stage ,every answer was there on that paper, unfolding the truth, making the things more clear.
I am just refurbishing a segment of the column, “…….I searched the TV channels for a glimpse of him or his mission, only to realize that it really doesn’t matter whether my soldier was living a life that was worse than being alive; what mattered was that kareena was getting married to Saif Ali Khan and Angelina Jolie was having twins. The complete hollowness of our urban life disturbed me. I realized that I was guilty of this too, till someone of my own was affected. But, then isn’t every soldier our very own? Have we become so self-consumed that we are immune to the sacrifice that he has made by choosing this profession so that we stay protected? no one really tries to dwell in to what makes a soldier guard that peak at Siachen or brave the enemy at LoC. Please note a soldier moves because his heart moves. However his heart beats only when he knows that his family is happy and provided for. Sadly enough the pay commission has made him a negotiator and pushed him to demand what is rightfully his.
I asked my soldier, doesn’t all this agitate you? Make you want to quit? And He replied, “If tomorrow, someone falls in front of me on a busy street, I will go and pick him up. I will not think of why others didn’t come to his rescue.” I stand corrected .he is not fighting someone else’s battle. He is acting upon things which really matter to someone somewhere! He does not care why his friend or his brother is not doing the same he has made this choice for his country, for his people, for himself. Let us respect his choice, salute it. For they make our country a better place to live in…!”
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Weekends are always awaited after five grueling working days. No worry for strict sleeping times for children, no waking up very early, rushing for the school bus, and preparations for husband’s office schedule. Starting the day at my own pace, lazing around reading favorite columns in newspaper, long chats with husband and kids, are some of the luxuries I look forward to on weekends.
Sometimes I just wonder will I enjoy my Sundays during my retirement (yes retirement phase comes in housewives life cycle also and they need lots of psychological preparation to get ready for the phase) as much as I do now, will I miss my days of organized chaos or at that time everyday will be like a holiday and I will just wish for something meaningful to do.
Whenever I look any old age person, I just try to feel what kind of emotions they are going through .is there a feeling of fulfillment or a wish that god would have given them more time! It also amazes me that after managing everything from A to Z in the house, how it feels to handle over everything to next generation. From being the sole decision maker in everything to just let others take the reigns! It is indeed a huge change in a person’s life and retirement phase does require proper emotional planning for a person to spend that phase more meaningfully.
Right now I am enjoying my Sundays peacefully with my entire family!
please look forward for my special article on how to live retired life more meaningfully
Sometimes I just wonder will I enjoy my Sundays during my retirement (yes retirement phase comes in housewives life cycle also and they need lots of psychological preparation to get ready for the phase) as much as I do now, will I miss my days of organized chaos or at that time everyday will be like a holiday and I will just wish for something meaningful to do.
Whenever I look any old age person, I just try to feel what kind of emotions they are going through .is there a feeling of fulfillment or a wish that god would have given them more time! It also amazes me that after managing everything from A to Z in the house, how it feels to handle over everything to next generation. From being the sole decision maker in everything to just let others take the reigns! It is indeed a huge change in a person’s life and retirement phase does require proper emotional planning for a person to spend that phase more meaningfully.
Right now I am enjoying my Sundays peacefully with my entire family!
please look forward for my special article on how to live retired life more meaningfully
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