My Lil' Soldier

Reading the column Soul Curry by Ms Charushilla Narula in times life (21 Sep08; a supplement of Sunday times of India) stirred lots of emotions, which I was trying to compile and compose after my conversation with my brother who right now has got a border posting. I had asked him, what is the value of him staying in such extreme living conditions, who is bothered what difficulties he is facing staying there. And his answer to my query was ,everybody whether working in a private job or in a public sector job is doing his duty assigned to him, they all are working in a team for the welfare of an organization; some are taking greater risks while others are not , but everybody is not looking for a reward all the time, I am also doing the same; I have opted for a field and all this is a part of this particular carrier, chosen fields may be different but the objective of all of us is the same. His answer gave me some comfort but I was not fully convinced, at the same time I was feeling guilt also of asking such a question which might affect his zeal, his confidence.
Maybe because the soldier in question is my own younger brother, my own sibling whom I know inside out, understand beyond words and with whom I have grown up literally.
I was trying to understand why along with a feeling of proud there was also this itch attached, “why he was there, and what was the point of it all?” I was searching answers to my inner doubts but to no avail! On the weekend It seemed as god himself was trying to answer my queries otherwise why I would’ve started reading a back-dated newspaper which I usually never do! I came through this article which was reflecting my state of mind word by word, the guilt of discussing wrong points ,the state of illusion my feelings at this stage ,every answer was there on that paper, unfolding the truth, making the things more clear.
I am just refurbishing a segment of the column, “…….I searched the TV channels for a glimpse of him or his mission, only to realize that it really doesn’t matter whether my soldier was living a life that was worse than being alive; what mattered was that kareena was getting married to Saif Ali Khan and Angelina Jolie was having twins. The complete hollowness of our urban life disturbed me. I realized that I was guilty of this too, till someone of my own was affected. But, then isn’t every soldier our very own? Have we become so self-consumed that we are immune to the sacrifice that he has made by choosing this profession so that we stay protected? no one really tries to dwell in to what makes a soldier guard that peak at Siachen or brave the enemy at LoC. Please note a soldier moves because his heart moves. However his heart beats only when he knows that his family is happy and provided for. Sadly enough the pay commission has made him a negotiator and pushed him to demand what is rightfully his.
I asked my soldier, doesn’t all this agitate you? Make you want to quit? And He replied, “If tomorrow, someone falls in front of me on a busy street, I will go and pick him up. I will not think of why others didn’t come to his rescue.” I stand corrected .he is not fighting someone else’s battle. He is acting upon things which really matter to someone somewhere! He does not care why his friend or his brother is not doing the same he has made this choice for his country, for his people, for himself. Let us respect his choice, salute it. For they make our country a better place to live in…!”