prerna my bai

“aai paanch din kaam par nahi aayegi” my maid’s daughter had called up to inform that her mother will not be coming for five days. It was quite surprising because Prema had been with me for the last two years and she had a good track record of taking as lesser leaves as possible, and now this, all of a sudden leave for five days!! But even after much co-axing she didn’t give me any details and cut the phone. Now there was no other option than to wait for five days and look for some substitute.

They came after seven days. When I got the information that she has entered in the society premises, I was certain that she is sure to get a piece of my mind. But as she entered in the house it was hard to recognize her. Where was that chirpy, bubbly, loving Prema?
I had always seen her happy and content with life. She was in her late thirties and had two daughters; one of her daughter was studying in ninth standard and the other one in second. She had left her husband five years back because of his drinking menace. She was handling her daily expenses, getting her daughters educated by putting in sheer hard work, unlike other maids she was not interested in gossiping and all. For me she was an epitome of good moral values & righteousness. She was a Konkani Brahmin by birth and a staunch believer in all Hindu deities. She used to perform all religious rituals on daily basis without fail, whenever she was late for work I knew she would come and say “aaj diya-batti karne se der hua” and she also used to hallucinate about deviji during navratri, which I believe was due to her firm faith. We had found a common ground for conversation which used to revolve mainly around miracles due to firm faith in god.

Prema was looking pale and completely lost in her own world, she was mumbling something to herself, her daughter asked her to sit, and she mechanically followed the instruction. I was completely clueless what might have happened, her daughter said “meri maa ko pata nahi kya ho gaya hai she has not eaten even a bite and has not slept for the last seven days. She gets up in the middle of the night and starts cooking rice then she performs elaborate pooja, she is doubting everybody that he/she will kill me, and she kept on describing the symptoms which were clearly matching to the symptoms of deep mental depression ! but what could lead to that? According to my observation she was very strong from inside. “We didn’t go for prayers also on Sunday because of this” “you mean for some pooja on Sunday”, I came out of my thoughts. No, we have started going to church every Sunday as one other bai had asked us to come there with her, She said that this will relieve us from all our misery, but for that we will have to stop following our rituals. Now I was getting a clue as to what might have happened, with a positive thought which struck me, I told her daughter, “you leave her here for 2-3 hours and go to your school.” “Kya hua prema , kaisi tabiyat hai?” she didn’t respond, but may be the softness of words touched her, she looked up to me , “lie down for some time and take rest.” Then I made her lie down for a while and left the room, there was complete silence and I could hear her snoring, I knew how crucial that sleep was for her so I let her sleep ,she got up after sound sleep of three good hrs, and asked for her daughter, she was looking a lil peaceful. After having some tea and toasts she was sitting there and wanted to talk to me so I started,( I knew that objective of my conversation is to bring out the root cause of the symptom and to help her to regain her confidence ) kucch kehna hai Prema? She said “didi mere dev naraj ho gaye mujhse maine unki pooja karna band kiya na!” so! my assumption was right, her mind could not accept the fact that it will not be able to worship in the same manner as before; having interacted with her on daily basis and knowing the person that she was I knew that it was a very crucial thing for her, after two hours of gentle counseling I got her affirmation that for her daughter’s sake she has to be mentally strong and has to come back to her normal self. She was looking quite relieved at the end of our conversation. She said didi I love the things they tell at the Sunday prayers, it enhances my mental strength, but why do they ask me to stop worshipping my deities the way I want?
I didn’t have the answer for her query, but yes I was surprised at the revelation that even an illiterate person like her could sense that outer form of any deity is a superficial thing and that ultimate objective is to feel connected with the supreme power, in whichever manner in whichever way.

Nearly fifteen days have passed since that incident and Prema is slowly trying to come to her original self. We all are supporting her because we know that more than anything else her daughter’s higher studies and good life is her utmost priority